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Table of Contents
The Great Maitland Turkey Farm
Flat Tire & the Great Dane
Bovine Midwifery
Troubadour Emeritus
Judgment & Experience
Preachin', Pickin' & Politicin'
Doctrines of Citizenship
Bean Creek Alphabet
War Bunny

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Troubadour Emeritus

Lately I have been given, to savor, the glorious honor of having been proclaimed the Troubadour Emeritus of Oklawaha County, Florida. All this by virtue of having performed for twenty consecutive years as a house act at the Terminal Tavern in Snipes Ford. Because of my position there of centrality, I am able to see the Terminal Tavern in its true light: as a temple of culture; as a taproot to certain wellsprings of natural human behavior--precious wellsprings, otherwise silted over with the benign compost of gentility and decorum. The Terminal Tavern lies on Redbug Road between Snipes Ford and Bean Creek--Snipes Ford being our county seat and center of literacy. Which is to say that everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing, but we still read the newspaper to find out who got caught at it.

Beyond this, Oklawaha County is principally known for its outsized number of rural alchemists. It's not what you're thinking. We have an inordinate number of folks who spend the bulk of their waking hours puzzling out novel ways to bleach their used coffee grounds, so they can sell them to the tourists on the Interstate for grits--which goes a long way toward explaining why so many northerners don't care a hoot for southern cooking.

Author: James Gamble Rogers IV

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